Lord,
Lately I haven’t been feeling that great due to a personal hormonal issue that I have that causes some of my personal issues to get intense; for example it increased my anxiety a lot and I also get anxious about the little things in life and I am not used to changes in general.
I have recently lost interest in a lot of things as well too. My mood is unstable as well; rage specifically. I haven’t been feeling myself recently and I am seeing things through a broken lens which is not helping at all. Lord, I never found a job or have any new friends, or a lover at this point right now.
I also have trust issues which formed after the years I have been bullied from my past to college years. I once had thoughts that society is against me and I still have a little bit of that feeling.
Lord, I can’t figure out my purpose in life, and I don’t see myself having a good future due to all the issues I’m dealing with, especially my hormones being unstable at times. I haven’t even figured out my identity yet either. Lord, I feel lost and stuck at this point, I also feel jealous of people that have a successful lives and I sometimes try not to compare myself too much. I also don’t know if I should visit my grandma in Maryland with my mom or ask her to come to our house. It’s been years since I last saw her, I know she is a nice person but I am afraid that bad things will happen and things would get chaotic.
I feel like a failure at this point, nothing exciting has happened, nothing new, and I am always on a routine daily but I don’t like changes to it either. I really miss all my grandparent relatives that passed away about a fair amount of years. I haven’t felt the same since for a while. I could use a lot of help with what I am going through and also support from you (not just my doctors, some friends, parents). Could you please ask my dead grandparent relatives to bring me support so I feel less alone and to help me stay strong? God, I feel like I don’t belong and dealing with self-hate too.
Lord please understand despite being imperfect, I am not as pure as some folks but I know we all have flaws. I just want help and guidance and also help deal with this mess I have. I also wished that I could feel respected and learn to accept who I am.
Thanks for understanding me!