I’m in so much debt and my social security check has been cut to way more than half of what I was getting paid in the of August I am only getting 161.00 then after that I will get 511.00 every month and I have a lot bills and my husband is working so his income goes against me also and he has a lot of bills and he has told me he would help me but he has so much on him already so I don’t see how he can carry anything more and he is not letting god work in his life he is easy to find a reason not to go to church and when he does not go I don’t get to go he wants me here with him I try to get him to pray with me at night when we go to bed but he doesn’t he will lay down and go to sleep I don’t I still say my prayers I am a slow learner I can’t understand what the Bible is saying when I read it but I try I have trouble I can’t comprehend what it means I have trouble with praying I try but I’m not sure if I am doing it right I don’t let anyone hear me pray because I’m afraid of being made fun of I grew up going to special education classes and back when I was going to school we did not do anything so I have no education except what I have learned on my own and I can’t understand how to do what they teach you in school with work like history English social studies I can’t do anything like that I can do small math but not big stuff I have tired in school but I was put back in the special education classes because I could not do the work what I have tried I couldn’t do I don’t understand the AEIO and sometimes y I don’t understand that if I learned anything I have to keep doing it every single day are I will loose how to do it and that’s with most things because of my learning problems I feel like every one is looking down at me because I don’t fit in because I don’t know how to do things like them I go to my husband church it is hard on me because they are Apologetic Pentecostal and the way they believe and the way I believe are not the same I am a baptis and have never been in a Apologetic Pentecostal church until I met my husband and I have tried to live the way they do but I don’t understand it I don’t understand what your cloning your makeup or jewelry are hair have to do with making it to heaven I wear pants and I wear makeup sometimes when I’m going to something really special like when my 2g grand daughter got married I wore makeup my youngest granddaughter used to blame my husband for changing the way I dressed because I tried to wear them long sleeve blouses and skirts but I quit because it was not me s please pry for me I am in a bad messed up way with everything I don’t want to give up on things but it’s so hard for me I just don’t fit in and now my check is been messed up I just don’t know how much more I can take
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