After 27 years in education, I am sinking into a deep solitude and looking inward meditating on the word of God. I so quickly accept blame for the affect of years of bullying, harassment, and toxic work environments. So much so that I forgot how to fight or may not have any fight left in me. I have never been a weak woman. My mantra was: in times of adversity of trouble, use the strength bestowed by God to get through the storm then cry later because crying does nothing to solve the problem. I consulted an attorney. She needed to rejuvenate her mind as well and took a vacation at the onset of my case. She returned with CoVid. Yet, she is all I have at the moment. Someone has stalked me, tampered with my phone, home, livelihood and I am being looked upon as though I am crazy or something other than people seeing my cut clothes, stolen mail, stolen purchases. No one helps. I know the Word of God enough to find solace in these times. I was raised in the church. My hearing is July 29th or 30th. I do not feel I will win and I feel I will be homeless as a result. But somehow I want to others to know the effect of someone who bullies and harasses. A relative encountered the same thing decades ago, but she somehow seems envious or mad at me and it is not what I need so I have distanced myself. She said the words “your God will help you, right”? I have never and will never deal with anyone who defies the name of God. (Long handle spoon love) I don’t have a significant other (which may be best right now because I am not myself as far as my appearance, weight, housekeeping, personality) all affected by a bad work environment. I simply cannot believe that people would treat someone as such and that I would allow someone to change my personality. I think of not having insurance and someone already stealing from me. I want to go to the dentist and afford a smile makeover. I ask for favor over this hearing committee. My prayer is for 3 years in a position that will renew my faith in the system, so that I may retire in peace. At one point, something spoke into my spirit that I may not live to retirement. My prayer is for the renewing of my mind and spirit. The attorney constantly asks me for documents and I know she needs them. But, I compiled them the best I could in my current state of mind which was quite organized yet without clerical support she is using me as the paralegal. Does she not realize that I am mentally exhausted? Maybe not overall but of this joke that my association thinks is funny in that I complained that people continuously wait until I complete a task, then they make a change and ask me to do it over again. It is not amusing because it can lead to errors and exhaustion. There is someone evil behind all of it and I pray vengeance upon their mind and life. I know God has nothing to prove. But, I pray against the evil that is driving this person and their “soldiers” who seem to blindly follow his/her lead. In God is the glory and to God be the glory. Amen. I pray victory over my hearing and my life so I may continue to help others in some way. Amen.
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