Many people wonder, should you pray for your enemies? When we have been hurt, it is easy to think harmful thoughts towards another. We can become full of blame and hateful feelings, even wanting to cause revenge.
It can become easy to get stuck in the pain once we have been hurt by another, yet the proper way is to pray for your enemies.
Living a Life of Love like Jesus
As Christians, we are guided to follow in the strong footsteps of Jesus. Molded by unconditional love, he forgave people for being human. One aspect of humanity is the ability to harm others. We cannot escape that others do bad things, but we can choose how we react. As Jesus said, A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. (John 13:34).
Jesuss example teaches us of a strong individual who saw others weakness and was not controlled by them. When someone persecutes us, it is easy to have a mean thing to say in return. Jesus calls us to a different path in which we first offer acceptance towards anothers faults. He also teaches not to take the blame on and think self-hating thoughts. Instead, we are asked to love and accept others as they are.
Handling Conflict Responsibly
Loving others is not easy, especially if they are harming us. It can be really easy to feel like you want to fight and get justice from another. We can come to wallow in the pain, but that is not the life Jesus called for us. But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:27-28).
When people are engaged in conflict, often the conflict increases because each side is trying to get their way. Maybe one person wants to stop being talked down to, while the other wants to talk down to that person. Jesus taught to seek understanding with the person. Instead of being hurt and reacting, understand that the person wants to harm you and accept that.
When you see someone as they are, you stop trying to fight and change them and have time to focus on yourself and your life. God wants great things for your life, not constant struggle. Yet, sometimes we need to learn how to detach and focus on what we desire and hope for.
Read our collection of Bible Verses on Forgiveness.
Detaching from Conflict
Many self-help books teach the idea of detachment. This means that we detach from the conflict and stop trying to get someone to be what we need to feel better about ourselves. Jesus is teaching this same philosophy when he says to love your enemies, because when you detach you stop trying to control outcomes. You accept the situation as it is, and can even come to feel good will towards others you are in conflict with.
All hope is not lost when you detach, however. As Jesus instructed, But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:27-28). The reason for prayer is to mentally wish good towards those who need help and to place the outcome in Gods hands. Some people will not hear you if you ask them to stop persecuting you. In this case, so many get caught in a battle to change how another is behaving. With prayer, we can take focused action to allow God to grant the other what he or she needs to change.
Sometimes life can be full of chaos and pain. No matter what our circumstances, we always choose how we feel. Through Jesuss guidance, we learn to accept situations as they are and offer love towards others, while praying for another to change. As many self-help books teach, when we detach from the outcome, we have time to tend to our needs. Often the situation will then resolve itself when we are not putting pressure on it to resolve.